Have you ever caught yourself thinking: “Oh God, my resume is terrible?” Good news! It almost certainly wasn’t. If there’s one thing the worst resumes ever can teach you, it’s that creating a horrendous resume usually takes a deliberate effort. It simply has to.
Because if not, how else would you explain RICKY SANTANGELO?
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Obviously, some of the resumes below were created in a sincere effort to stand out from other candidates. Ultimately, standing out is good. You want employers to remember you. But you should always aim to make them remember you in a positive light—not just any light.
After all, each one of these resumes is memorable. Recruiters surely remember them at nights when they wake up screaming in a cold sweat. Then they recall how none of these people got the job in the end and that comforts them.
You should always aim to make employers remember you in a positive light—not just any light.
So if you ever think of giving your cover letter a Harry Potter-like visual, think again. If you ever consider inventing a blowjob machine, do it in your spare time! And if your name is RICKY SANTANGELO, stop being RICKY SANTANGELO.
Most of all, remember that being fun, quirky, or interesting is not an asset in most professions (I know, it’s harsh). In most cases, employers are simply looking for someone normal who get’s the job done. They don’t want a clown.
Remember this the next time you’ll think of spicing up your resume with something truly extraordinary. In the meantime, enjoy the quirkiness of the resumes below. Also, don’t forget to check out our other list of the worst resumes ever, The 10 Worst Resumes the Employers Have Ever Seen.
1. Not sure if inventing the Moon makes one sound like the right fit or a lunatic.
2. Ricky’s done many crazy things that will scare all hiring managers away.
3. Harry Potter is the best. This resume is the worst.
4. This self-starter’s career ended before it could self-start.
5. And this is why you should do internships, kids.
6. Looking for a job can hard when your age is 35 but you’re already “five hundred years old.”
7. This guy has all the MOTHERFLIPPING checks! Welcome to the Worst Resumes Ever.
8. Watch these films. See if you can identify the guy!
9. If you have to include “I’M A HUMAN BEING” in your resume, people might think you’re a dog rather than a dog walker.
10. Business experience. All the right skills. It’s all about how you frame it.