5 Jobs That T-Rex Arms Can’t Do (And the 1 Job That Fits Them Perfectly)

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. Here’s to a wide-eyed tyrannosaur who didn’t let the shortness of his T-Rex arms stand in his way to greatness. This is an inspiring story to keep in mind throughout the upcoming year.

2017 was a tough year for tyrannosaurs all over the world. For decades, everybody saw them as the undisputed “kings of the tyrant lizards”. But everything has changed when a team of German scientists discovered that, in reality, they wouldn’t be able to outrun a speedy human.

Even worse, the discovery coincided with the outbreak of internet jokes about the shortness of T-Rex arms. No wonder that many a tyrannosaurus felt his world had turned upside down.

He lost is all, only to climb to the top again and become President of the United States.

On the other hand, such astounding reversals of fortune often make for equally inspiring stories. And sometimes a poet may deem such story worthy of a song. Or a poem—like the one you’ll find below.

Let us tell you a story about a T-Rex who had it all and lost it all. A king of the lizards who went from hero to zero, only to climb to the top again and become President of the United States.

But what does a tyrannosaur have to do with your career, you ask? After all, this is a career blog known for delivering no bullshit content.

The answer is—everything. This story can help you stay motivated throughout the upcoming year. Whenever you’ll feel disheartened, hopeless, or at your limits, remember how much you can achieve if you never stop trying. But without any further ado—here it is!

(Also, since nobody reads poetry nowadays, we’re attaching the illustrated version of the poem by Katka Koncova. Come on, click it to see more!)

T-Rex Arms and the Perfect Job: A Poem

T-Rex Arms Jobs

When scientists discovered that T. Rex could never run, 

Spielberg told him straight away: “In my park, you’re done!”

For all his prey could suddenly outrun their former foe 

and the short-winded Tyrannosaurus saw he grew too slow. 

T-Rex Arms Jobs

A film career in disarray and hunting attempts failed, 

another trade his sorry state had made him contemplate.

But in a world that always wants more dexterous handymen, 

his tiny arms and hands would fail him time and time again.

Instead of people’s faces, he’d only photograph their crotch,

T-Rex Arms Jobs

and every single bad tooth aching he was too short-handed to touch. 

So when he saw that as a painter he’d only master stripes…

T-Rex Arms Jobs

He took to the White House, alas, he had tiny arms!

People cheered as he was signing his first bill with a claw, 

From that day onwards they lived jolly under dinosaurian law.

T-Rex Arms Jobs

Surprised by his newfound success, he threw a party too;

late at night remembered something he always held as true: 

Though DJ-ing was something that his arms still couldn’t do, 

those very arms, their unique charms, they helped him see this through.

So if you feel like fit for nothing and your talents are few

somewhere out there is a dream job waiting just for you!

Disclaimer: THIS IS A JOKE. If you liked it and would like to see more fun content, check out our Ultimate Graduate Quiz: Are you the right fit for McDonald’s, KFC, or Subway? There’s a good chance you won’t regret it.

 

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